9 Truths about sex in long-term relationships
What should sex look like in a long-term relationship? Maybe sex has diminished in your relationship, or maybe you feel bored, uncomfortable or forced instead of really having fun. Let us speak in a little more detail:
1. Sex generally improves relationships, but it depends on each couple
Many research studies have shown a strong link between a good sex life and a happy relationship: Sexual satisfaction contributes to relationship satisfaction, according to studies. It has also been found that good sex (athens escorts) can even offset the negative effects of communication problems. On the contrary, less sex than you would like can make your relationship less stable and increase your chances of breaking up.
How important sex is in any given relationship – and how often it is considered satisfactory – really depends on the people involved. Some people are not interested in sex and do not really need it to have a happy relationship. What is important is that you and your partner can talk about what you each want out of your sex life, recognize any discrepancies, and find ways to make sure both people’s needs are met.
2. It is normal for people not to feel the need-desire to have sex sometimes
People’s interest in sex “goes through phases” depending on a variety of factors. These include:
- stress levels
- lack of sleep
- hormonal fluctuations
- side effects of drugs
- mental health issues
- body image
- relationship issues
- life changes (a new job, a new baby, etc.)
It is normal not to constantly feel the need for sex in a relationship. Avoid judging both yourself and your partner.
3. Decreased sexual desire is sometimes associated with bigger relationship issues
Good sex usually means a happier relationship, but the opposite is also true. Research has found a two-way relationship between sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction, which means that if you are not happy with your partner, you probably will not be very happy with your sex life either.
If one or both partners are not interested in sex, it is possible that there are underlying relationship problems that are coming out “under the rug” that need to be addressed. To understand what is happening, you need to communicate with each other – how you are feeling. Focus on having a good relationship, and good sex will follow naturally.
4. Men also show reduced sexual desire – lower libido
Despite cultural stereotypes, not all men want sex all the time and many experience a decrease in their sexual drive. Both sexes can show it, so do not assume that it is always women who stop wanting sex in long-term relationships. That is not to blame escorts in Athens!
5. People tend to enjoy sex as soon as they start having it, even if they were not in the mood at first
People experience desire in different ways. Many experience a spontaneous desire, where they accidentally are in the mood to have sex before there is even physical arousal. For other people, sexual desire comes only after the onset of physical arousal. This is known as responsive desire.
What exactly does this mean? If sexual desire does not appear spontaneously throughout your day, it does not mean that you will not enjoy sex once you do.
6. Sex while I have no desire
No one needs to have sex with anyone when they do not want to, even in long-term relationships. Having sex when you do not want to can make you feel disconnected or even unhappy with your partner and you are less likely to enjoy it.
And here the researches differ:
- Found that having sex just to satisfy your partner can lead to lower sex and satisfying sex.
- A 2014 study published in the journal Social Psychology and Personality Science found that people who feel motivated to satisfy their partner’s sexual needs tend to experience more sexual desire for their partner daily and over time in long-term relationships.
In other words, when you are very interested in your partner’s sexual pleasure, you tend to feel more sexual desire.
7. Sex does not have to be “always” spontaneous
Scheduled sex can be just as enjoyable because there is a sense of accumulation and expectation. Of course, do not just put sex in the diary, as an obligation. Have fun creating sexual desire by the date you set, this way you increase sexual energy in a long-term relationship.
8. Sex is enjoyable when it is a joint exploration, not a bargain
Scorekeeping has no place in a healthy sex life. Couples with a desire mismatch sometimes fall into a dynamic where sex is about who gives and how often, and can create a lot of negative energy.
You need to explore sex together and help each other feel good.
Sometimes this urge and negotiation can cause feelings of rejection (for the partner with the highest libido), isolation (for the partner with the lowest libido) and guilt (for both). In this case, you can seek help from an escort to help you manage your emotions and the situation you are experiencing.
9. Sex in long-term relationships can be hot, passionate and plentiful
A 2022 study found that narratives about the “decomposition of passion” in long-term relationships became truly self-fulfilling prophecies: that is, people who believed that passion would diminish in their relationships over time actually had lower levels of sexual activity. Therefore, avoid the trap that sexual desire will automatically disappear as the relationship continues over the years.
Remember: Many people in long-term relationships have extremely satisfying sex lives. In fact, the more you know about each other, the more comfortable you will be in exploring new sexual experiences. You and your partner can create any kind of sex life you want, as long as you are both willing, receptive and positive.